The Big Fish Saga Continues

Just so you know, the directions on the back of the fish food are completely inaccurate.  It overstates how much and how often to feed them seemingly to sell more food.  That's right, folks.  I've been seriously overfeeding the Nemos.  The tank is beyond cloudy and has gone straight into murky.

Earlier this week, I purchased a bottom feeder to hopefully help clean up the tank.  The boy and I had just watched The Little Mermaid for the first time, so I was encouraging him to name the new fish either Flounder or Sebastien for something different.  Surprisingly (note the sarcasm), we have another Nemo in our family.  That makes four fish named Nemo, a dog named Whiskey (WeeWee to little boys), a toddler named Little Man and a lady named Mommy.

The bottom feeder wasn't really working, so I went the next day to the closest Petsmart and found an employee that knew his stuff.  Although the internet is probably the best invention on earth (aside from Chocolate and coffee), it can often times provide too much information.  I was fearing that I had too much fish for the tank since the Shubunkin Goldfish is kin to the koi and can get quite large.  I also read about amonia levels and pH balances and all the stuff that never crossed my mind when we were throwing the ping pong balls that Friday night!  All of this was making me fear the death and heaven talk with a 2.5 year old.

It turns out that you are supposed to give about three flakes of food per fish per day... as opposed to the pinch of food per fish two to three times a day.  I told you I was seriously overfeeding the fish!  So, I cut back on the amount of food, purchased a couple different murky water eliminators, and stocked up on filter inserts.  I changed the filter yesterday, and it was disgusting.  Then I changed it again today, and it was disgusting.  The water is starting to clear, but I'm pretty glad I got a 6-pack of filters!

Hopefully, the water starts clearing soon!

The Big Fish Saga

Allright.  Now that I'm done bragging about my Safari Success, I'll get back to the Big Fish Saga.  OK, the last we talked about it, Little Man won some fish at the fair requiring a brand new tank and some accessories.  Without gravel.

Seriously!  How is it that two Walmarts, a K-mart and a pet store were all out of gravel!?!  I finally went to the closest Pet Supermarket and hit the jackpot!  I walked out of there with my 20 pounds of gravel along with an air pump, a bubble blowing diver and some air tubing.  I was looking for the Ring of Fire (reference Finding Nemo that I've probably seen 1,000 times), but it was (1) out of stock and (2) seriously out of my price range anyway.

I don't know; maybe I'm quite biased, but I've got one of the coolest tanks around.  Ever.  The decorations are so me, and the diver reminds me of my dad who dove for the first 15 years of his heavy marine construction career.  Even the Nemos seem to like everything.

Except the water seems to be a little cloudy.  I'm not sure what's going on... if it is the gravel or the added decorations or the bubbles are over aerating, but we will see if it clears up.  Wish me luck!

So far we have almost a $100 investment in this sucker, so I don't want to see any fish with their bellies up!

Sophisticated Safari Success!

I may be completely brain dead from lack of sleep, but the shower was a success!  It is one that people will talk about for years.  I will admit that my cousin engineered the idea train and I used her ideas for inspiration, but we worked well together as a team.

I created all the printables: invitations, passport favors, party circles, favor tags, banner, game sheets, note cards.  My mom and I also made zebra striped cake balls, chocolate covered oreos and elephant ears.

Here are the pictures promised!

  

My own Big Fish!

I've been working hard, in tandem with my cousin, to plan a kick-tail shower for my other cousin's impending baby.  It's a safari theme, so we decided to take it the British Colonial route with passports and mosquito netting and burlap and all of that.  I'll post pictures once it's done.

Tonight, I decided to take a night off and take my baby to the county fair with my parents and yet another cousin.  [I've got a million and one cousins, so don't worry if you can't keep track.  =)]

It was a BLAST!  My parents light up, literally, when they are around Little Man, so it is a true pleasure to watch them all together.  Now, I'm that mean mom that doesn't let the kiddo eat sweets or junk food.  Tonight, I gave my dad almost free reign (almost) to give the boy JUNK FOOD.  He actually had him yelling, "JUNK FOOD," in preparation for the night.  It would have been too cute if the boy weren't vibrating from the sugar by the end of the night.

Then we hit the Win a Fish table.  It was cute watching him throwing the ping pongs at the fish bowls, then clapping with joy and wonder.  I never expected him to even come close, but the boy got two!  My dad got another six.  Now, I can get a little competitive.  As soon as I saw the sign that you can trade six little fish for a big fish, I just knew that we had to leave the fairgrounds with the Big Fish.  Ha ha!  We left with a Big Fish AND two little fish!

Slap a palm to my forehead!  I never stopped to think that you have to put the fish somewhere!  Nooooo, don't keep the little fish that you can throw in a bowl with an aerator.  Noooo, get the Big Fish that requires a 10-gallon tank.  And gravel.  And a filter.  And decorations.  And an aerator.  Of course, the Walmart we visited had slim pickings, so I'm rocking the tank with no gravel and only a couple of cute decorations.

I plan to hit another Walmart tomorrow to get the rest of the stuff.  For right now, it's late and I still have A LOT of work to do for the shower on Sunday.  In the mean time, here's a picture!

Tomorrow is yours to change, not yesterday!

I'm mopping my floors with a gangload of Eminem, Akon, Pitbull and... Sting (I gotta keep it real, folks) on my iPod, dance mopping with a vengeance, and counseling a cousin that is going through the same things I've experienced, both recently and in the past.

She and I are more similar than I've ever known, and I'm enjoying the similarities immensely.  Until it comes to the negative parts of our personalities.  You have to understand, we were brought up in a fiercely loyal and loving family that also took passive aggressive behavior to Olympic levels, thinks failing is worse than death, and cultures setting ourselves up for failure by expecting more from ourselves (and others) than can ever be delivered.  We come by it honestly.  It isn't our fault that we are this way, but it is our fault that we stay this way.

Me?  I graduated college and had no idea what to do with my life, so I went to graduate school.  I had already "failed" because I chose a major that my dad thought was weak and "a cop-out", so maybe graduate school would give me direction.  Don't get me wrong, I worked HARD and maintained a B+ average in a difficult, accelerated business management masters program, but I was no closer to a life direction than at my first graduation.  I shunned the college's career placement program convinced that I could do it all on my own.  The economy (and job market) were on a decline... then 9-11 happened.

Flash forward 10 years (I know I'm old, OK?) and I've worked retail and several dead-end, white collar jobs for majorly insane a-holes (I mean Kevin Spacey in Horrible Bosses a-holes) with skills out the yin yang but a horrible resume and a career-killing toddler.  I tried a business and I failed miserably.  I tried marriage and failed miserably.  I live off my parents for rent and have been accused of being no better than a welfare mother (by a therapist that falls in that majorly insane a-hole category).  I have failed at every single thing in my life - hopefully other than motherhood; I can't fail at that.

It's when I realized that failure isn't the end of the world that I turned myself around.  FAILURE HAS NO BEARING ON WHO I AM OR IF I AM A GOOD PERSON.  Period.  I have nowhere to go but up, and that's why I will be a success this time because I have already failed miserably and didn't die.  A friend recently told me that you can't see God's hands reaching out toward us with the offer of help until we are flat on our backs and looking up.  However you look at it, failure is just another way to grow.

I changed to always trying to find the positive in everything.  I look back at how much time I wasted waiting for someone else to ensure my happiness and smack my forehead because happiness is a state of mind, not something another person can give you.  It isn't easy, but I choose to be happy.  Don't get me wrong, I have my moments and even my days when I trip.  I have a pity party of one (sometimes more if I can convince anyone else to join me) then I pick myself up by the scruff of my neck and force myself back on path.  I'm truly happier than I have ever been, and this is the hardest my life has ever been.

I have way more than people in my position could ever hope to have.  Instead of looking at the fact that I don't have a job or a chance at a job or a home or a husband or many friends (depressing, isn't it?), I choose to look at the fact that I have the most amazing son in the world.  I have a large family that loves me, no matter what, failure and all.  I have a roof over my head that - for now - I don't have to share with anyone but my son.  I have talent, a lot of it, and I have the smarts - and now the drive - to turn that talent into a way to stand on my own two feet financially.

Happiness is a state of mind.  Rather than looking back and lamenting over things that can't be changed, remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed.  You can never get this moment back, so make it one that you will never regret.  Tomorrow is yours to change, not yesterday!

Reality Television as Inspiration

Why is it that inspiration strikes when I'm driving or bathing my son or in the middle of pretty much anything that is not near a computer?  I come up with the most amazing thoughts and compose a phenomenal first paragraph then forget it as soon as my fingers hit the keyboard.  Blank.  Complete writer's block.  Zip, zilch, nada.  I got nothing!

Even now, I've wrote that first paragraph hoping that I would have something that blows your mind and make you want to come back to me despite me leaving you high and dry for... well, pretty much ever.  I hate that it has been more than a month and a half since I wrote to you.  This is supposed to be an expression of me, and I look empty and vacant.

I'm not empty and vacant, dammit.  That's write.  I wrote dammit and I even spelled it wrong.  So there!

I've been watching a little bit of reality television while I'm writing, and I will say that these people make me feel very normal.  Train wrecks.  All of them.  Absolutely tragic but you can't look away.  The worst of them?  The commercials for the Toddlers and Tiaras show on TLC.  Those commercials make me sick.  I could never watch the entire show because my skin crawls and my lip curls and I judge those parents... immediately.  Parenting is hard, so I try not to judge others because I would hate for others to judge me.

But I can't help it.  I really can't.  Well, I didn't try, but I don't think I could help it if I tried.  These people are turning their children into very bad imitations of Barbie dolls.  Our children are supposed to be the best parts of us, and we are supposed to help shape them into the best versions of themselves.  These people are basically making photo copies of photo copies and creating the worst kind of hot messes.  Spoiled rotten littel brats that value looks and winning over morals and values... and the kids are horrible, too.

At least they make Buddy the Cake Boss look a little less jerk-ish.  Hey, there's a silver lining on each cloud.