More Adventures of Dobby

More adventures of Dobby...

Dobby had a snack and read one of his favorite books.

Dobby helped Little Man pick up his crayons.

Dobby went fishing!  I had to explain to an irritated Little Man that Dobby was just pretending to fish for the Nemos. 

Dobby was helping Mommy with her work that night!

Dobby built a stunt car with the Tinker Toys and performed some daredevil stunts!

Dobby tested out a blanket I was making for Little Man's cousin.

Dobby is the King of the Castle!

Dobby overheard Little Man ask why he didn't wear bells, so he wrote us a note that night.

We got a new angel on our tree, and Dobby wanted her to feel very welcome!

Family is the Reason for My Season, and Our Elf is a Part of the Tradition

  Ha ha!  Dobby is back!  I... I mean, we... get to have our fun again!  The first two nights Dobby was back, he kept it kinda tame to feel out how Little Man would respond.  The first night he waited patiently in Little Man's stocking, and the second night he took a ride on our lollipop Christmas tree.  (Photos on left)

Last night... last night, Dobby pulled out all the stops!  Frosty set up a zip line across the living room, so there was adventure to be had!  As I looked around, I could hear (no, not literally) the dialogue going on between Little Man's toys and the Christmas decorations.  This morning, I decided to create a comic strip to illuminate the scene for those of you that can't be here to see it yourself.  Of course, few people see things the way I do, so the comic strip is a safe bet either way.

I realize this makes me a dork!  I should not have spent the time I did (no, I'm not telling how long it was) creating something that might get read once and probably will be forgotten immediately.  I don't care.  I had a BLAST doing it, and I'm having a blast re-defining the role of Dobby in our house.  I'm kinda sorta following the rules, however Dobby is more of a happy addition to our home rather than an actual watch dog for Santa.

I'm trying to downplay Santa's role in the holiday and up-play (it's a word NOW, people!) the role of the whole season.  I'm not going to get into the spiritual / religious discussions about the real "reason" for the season, but I will say that my reason for every season is my family.  Now that Little Man isn't afraid anymore, Dobby is a part of our family, and we are creating a new tradition that is all our own.

Dobby has been with Little Man since he was born, but we only got around to naming him since Little Man could talk and give him a name.  Yes, Dobby goes and talks to Santa each night, but I emphasize that Dobby more tells the good stuff that Little Man does so he doesn't have to be afraid of Dobby "tattling".  I've got a great kid, and I would prefer him behaving because he's being taught to behave rather than being afraid of no presents once a year.  Just my perspective... no judgement.

For the most part, Dobby is just fun!  He eats monsters (and ghosts and witches) when Little Man finds them and is scared, and Dobby gives us a daily morning mission that we complete together.  I love being woken up to the sound of, "Mom, where's Dobby?"  So, now that you have our story (no guarantees of sticking to it), I'll share the comic strip.  Enjoy!

The Many Adventures of Dobby - Episode 1

Procrastination at Its Finest

I'd love to tell you that I have something deeply profound and inspiring to tell you today, but - no deal - I'm exhibiting a bit of procrastination.  Work avoidance.  I have to cut 65 very intricate and detailed invitations (3 pieces to each invitation, all shaped like tags), and I'm not looking forward to the stiff neck or innate boredom.

Instead, I'm going to brag a little about the Christmas package I made and am slowly posting in my Etsy store.  Instead of cutting the invitations like a good girl (I've been procrastinating for the past 24 hours), I decided to quickly stage a hot cocoa bar and take some photos of my stuff.  Yes, I realize that I should have had these Christmas items up since before Black Friday.  I'm a little behind.  That's what being a single mom (slowly) growing a business with parents that are slowly getting older will get you.  Get it?  Momma of Drama...  Sigh.  No really, my life is actually pretty great.  I'm just crazy busy.

Back to the procrastination.  Here is my favorite so far; it's actually a Starbucks Frapuccino bottle filled with chocolate chips for my "hot cocoa bar", wrapped with my water bottle label and tied with the Christmas favor tag.  I have so much fun staging parties, but the other stuff usually gets in the way.  Goodness, I still have about 6 party packages that need staging and posting.    Nothing like upping the stress level by reminding me of all the things I need to do.  Sheesh, thanks!

I'm going to get back to cutting now, but tomorrow brings the staging of a Christmas Wine Party and possibly a Kids Table at Christmas dinner.  Wish me luck!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Ah, it's that time of year again!  The time when I can guilt-free put eggnog in my coffee, listen to Christmas carols all I want and not get stared at as if I'm a weirdo when I'm extra nice to people.  I love this season... not just Christmas.  Christmas has never been about presents to me (OK, never is a strong word; I WAS five once) but about spending time with family.

We moved around a lot when I was young, so Christmas was the only time of year we could almost guarantee we would all be together.  I loved it.  I have a large family that is noisy and crazy and volatile and who loves one another very much, even through the insanity.  Some of my fondest memories come from the mischief my cousins and I would get up to at the kids table.  When else could we interact so openly without direct adult supervision?  Ah, memories!

I hate that I don't live close to much of my family anymore.  As we've grown, we've spread out and started families of our own.  It sometimes feels like it is impossible to visit with family that lives two miles down the road.  What can I say?  Life happens!

So... this year especially, I'm trying to form some new traditions with my son.  I was all over Pinterest trying to find unique things that Dobby, our Elf on the Shelf, could do.  Can you imagine my surprise when, three days into it, my son announced that Dobby scared him and wouldn't go within a 5-foot radius of wherever he was?  Ugh, I tried my hardest to get him to realize that Dobby is his friend, but I think the idea of a magical being traveling at will through our house every night was just too much for his three-year-old brain.

Alas, don't despair!  He went for the weekend with his Papi, and they had a really nice visit with Santa.  He came back yesterday ready to accept Dobby back into the fold.  So, wish me... I mean us... luck!  I'll keep you informed.

Happy Thanksgiving

OK, so I'm horrible at this blogging thing.  Every time I think of something to write to you, I'm either driving or I forget by the time I get to a computer.

I wanted to stop in and wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.  It isn't my favorite holiday, but it does mark the beginning of my favorite season, so - for that - I am thankful.

I am blessed to have a son who makes my life bright, a family that supports me no matter what, a business that continues to grow (I hope), and a life that is rich and joyful.

Thank you all for you, and I hope to have more for you throughout next year.

Do we go with the flow or do we fight the current?

I've been struggling for the entire history of this blog to determine just how deep I want to go with my posts.  Do I keep things on the surface and win you over with my irreverently wicked sense of humor, or do I let my privacy go and bare my soul for the world to read... and judge.  I wish I could figure out a way to balance the two and bare my soul without losing my privacy.

Life is hard.  Right now, life is super hard.  I recently had a conversation with my mom about my parents feeling like their life wasn't theirs to control.  The first feeling I had was an overwhelming sense of guilt because I am more than likely a source of that feeling.  I've had to rely on them waaaay too much for my liking over the last several months, so I'm wondering if my dependence is removing their freedom.

The second feeling I had was a sense of clarity in realizing that I'm not the only one that feels this way.  I've felt for a LONG time that my life was not my own to life; that I'm simply a puppet reacting to the string pulls of some marionette with a wicked sense of humor.  Even over the last two years - through the separation and moving and career change and motherhood - as I've tried to take back the power, I have still felt out of control.

Maybe that's the point of life?  Maybe everyone feels as out of control as we do.  So, the question of the hour is whether or not we try to take back control.  Do we fight the good fight and bust our tails making sure life goes how we want it or do we sit back and enjoy the ride?  I must say that my Type-A personality doesn't like the idea of sitting back and enjoying the ride, however I'm coming to suspect that we can never win complete control.

I've said a million times that "life happens", so maybe it's time that I suck it up and go with the flow.  Maybe it doesn't matter that I am not super thrilled with the direction of my current flow.  I have been busting my tail (seriously) for the past year trying to get this new business off the ground.  It is growing, but not quickly enough.  Maybe that's life telling me to quit fighting.

I've been trying to thumb my nose at the prospective employers out there that won't even consider a single mother of a toddler with a spotty work history.  I want to let them know (figuratively speaking, that is) that I don't need their stinking job to prove that I'm a great worker with an outstanding work ethic and so many things to bring to the table.  I want to stand financially independent, letting the world know it won't matter if the child support check bounces (again) or if my parents are no longer able to help.  I want to get to the place where emergencies are financial hiccups not devastating events.

Maybe that's the point.  I'm a fighter, and it took me dropping to rock bottom to realize just how strong an opponent I am.  I recently read a pin on Pinterest that said, 'When life knocks you down stand up and say, "you hit like a bitch."'  That's become my motto despite wondering if Life is taking it as a personal challenge.  Life is hard.  Lately, Life has been super hard.  .... But I am a fighter and I refuse to lay down and die.

Baby Book Discount Frenzy

I got my baby book!  I'm so excited!  Can you tell?!?  Wanna know what makes it even better?  It was FREE!  Free I tell you!

I am a discount freak.  There.  I've said it.  It is off my chest and out there for the world to process.  I love discounts!  Call me cheap, call me frugal, call me whatever you want, but I got my baby book for free!

Ok, ok, enough of the bragging.  I'll tell you my secret before you knock me upside my head with the book.  (That was free!  Bah ha HA!  I couldn't resist.).  I am a Pampers mommy and have been entering the codes from all our diapers and wipes for the past two years.  I finally saved enough points and "purchased" the free 20-page 12" x 12" book from Shutterfly.com, which spurred me into actually finishing the book.

Well, they don't tell you that you still have to pay $19 in shipping for that book, so free just turned into $19.  Well, they are currently running a sale where their baby books are 50% off and shipping is free for orders more than $30.  So, I ordered another baby book for my parents at $27.50 which is $2.50 away from the free shipping.  Hmmmm.  My free book was still costing me $19.

The magnets are 20% off, so I got a magnet for my mom to put Little Man's artwork on her refrigerator (since my stainless fridge isn't magnetic).  Add about $4.50.  Aha!  Free shipping!  So, that's FREE plus $27.50 plus $4.50 plus ZERO for shipping.  That's $32.  Well, I happen to have two $10 gift cards from the place where Little Man saw Santa (nice coincidence, huh?), so that takes the total down to $12 give or take for two baby books and a magnet.  Not too bad for an order that would have originally cost $135.

Did I tell you I love discounts?  Add to it that the baby book turned out AMAZING and made me tear up a little because my Little Man is growing way too fast.

The Big Fish Saga Continues

Just so you know, the directions on the back of the fish food are completely inaccurate.  It overstates how much and how often to feed them seemingly to sell more food.  That's right, folks.  I've been seriously overfeeding the Nemos.  The tank is beyond cloudy and has gone straight into murky.

Earlier this week, I purchased a bottom feeder to hopefully help clean up the tank.  The boy and I had just watched The Little Mermaid for the first time, so I was encouraging him to name the new fish either Flounder or Sebastien for something different.  Surprisingly (note the sarcasm), we have another Nemo in our family.  That makes four fish named Nemo, a dog named Whiskey (WeeWee to little boys), a toddler named Little Man and a lady named Mommy.

The bottom feeder wasn't really working, so I went the next day to the closest Petsmart and found an employee that knew his stuff.  Although the internet is probably the best invention on earth (aside from Chocolate and coffee), it can often times provide too much information.  I was fearing that I had too much fish for the tank since the Shubunkin Goldfish is kin to the koi and can get quite large.  I also read about amonia levels and pH balances and all the stuff that never crossed my mind when we were throwing the ping pong balls that Friday night!  All of this was making me fear the death and heaven talk with a 2.5 year old.

It turns out that you are supposed to give about three flakes of food per fish per day... as opposed to the pinch of food per fish two to three times a day.  I told you I was seriously overfeeding the fish!  So, I cut back on the amount of food, purchased a couple different murky water eliminators, and stocked up on filter inserts.  I changed the filter yesterday, and it was disgusting.  Then I changed it again today, and it was disgusting.  The water is starting to clear, but I'm pretty glad I got a 6-pack of filters!

Hopefully, the water starts clearing soon!

The Big Fish Saga

Allright.  Now that I'm done bragging about my Safari Success, I'll get back to the Big Fish Saga.  OK, the last we talked about it, Little Man won some fish at the fair requiring a brand new tank and some accessories.  Without gravel.

Seriously!  How is it that two Walmarts, a K-mart and a pet store were all out of gravel!?!  I finally went to the closest Pet Supermarket and hit the jackpot!  I walked out of there with my 20 pounds of gravel along with an air pump, a bubble blowing diver and some air tubing.  I was looking for the Ring of Fire (reference Finding Nemo that I've probably seen 1,000 times), but it was (1) out of stock and (2) seriously out of my price range anyway.

I don't know; maybe I'm quite biased, but I've got one of the coolest tanks around.  Ever.  The decorations are so me, and the diver reminds me of my dad who dove for the first 15 years of his heavy marine construction career.  Even the Nemos seem to like everything.

Except the water seems to be a little cloudy.  I'm not sure what's going on... if it is the gravel or the added decorations or the bubbles are over aerating, but we will see if it clears up.  Wish me luck!

So far we have almost a $100 investment in this sucker, so I don't want to see any fish with their bellies up!

Sophisticated Safari Success!

I may be completely brain dead from lack of sleep, but the shower was a success!  It is one that people will talk about for years.  I will admit that my cousin engineered the idea train and I used her ideas for inspiration, but we worked well together as a team.

I created all the printables: invitations, passport favors, party circles, favor tags, banner, game sheets, note cards.  My mom and I also made zebra striped cake balls, chocolate covered oreos and elephant ears.

Here are the pictures promised!

  

My own Big Fish!

I've been working hard, in tandem with my cousin, to plan a kick-tail shower for my other cousin's impending baby.  It's a safari theme, so we decided to take it the British Colonial route with passports and mosquito netting and burlap and all of that.  I'll post pictures once it's done.

Tonight, I decided to take a night off and take my baby to the county fair with my parents and yet another cousin.  [I've got a million and one cousins, so don't worry if you can't keep track.  =)]

It was a BLAST!  My parents light up, literally, when they are around Little Man, so it is a true pleasure to watch them all together.  Now, I'm that mean mom that doesn't let the kiddo eat sweets or junk food.  Tonight, I gave my dad almost free reign (almost) to give the boy JUNK FOOD.  He actually had him yelling, "JUNK FOOD," in preparation for the night.  It would have been too cute if the boy weren't vibrating from the sugar by the end of the night.

Then we hit the Win a Fish table.  It was cute watching him throwing the ping pongs at the fish bowls, then clapping with joy and wonder.  I never expected him to even come close, but the boy got two!  My dad got another six.  Now, I can get a little competitive.  As soon as I saw the sign that you can trade six little fish for a big fish, I just knew that we had to leave the fairgrounds with the Big Fish.  Ha ha!  We left with a Big Fish AND two little fish!

Slap a palm to my forehead!  I never stopped to think that you have to put the fish somewhere!  Nooooo, don't keep the little fish that you can throw in a bowl with an aerator.  Noooo, get the Big Fish that requires a 10-gallon tank.  And gravel.  And a filter.  And decorations.  And an aerator.  Of course, the Walmart we visited had slim pickings, so I'm rocking the tank with no gravel and only a couple of cute decorations.

I plan to hit another Walmart tomorrow to get the rest of the stuff.  For right now, it's late and I still have A LOT of work to do for the shower on Sunday.  In the mean time, here's a picture!

Tomorrow is yours to change, not yesterday!

I'm mopping my floors with a gangload of Eminem, Akon, Pitbull and... Sting (I gotta keep it real, folks) on my iPod, dance mopping with a vengeance, and counseling a cousin that is going through the same things I've experienced, both recently and in the past.

She and I are more similar than I've ever known, and I'm enjoying the similarities immensely.  Until it comes to the negative parts of our personalities.  You have to understand, we were brought up in a fiercely loyal and loving family that also took passive aggressive behavior to Olympic levels, thinks failing is worse than death, and cultures setting ourselves up for failure by expecting more from ourselves (and others) than can ever be delivered.  We come by it honestly.  It isn't our fault that we are this way, but it is our fault that we stay this way.

Me?  I graduated college and had no idea what to do with my life, so I went to graduate school.  I had already "failed" because I chose a major that my dad thought was weak and "a cop-out", so maybe graduate school would give me direction.  Don't get me wrong, I worked HARD and maintained a B+ average in a difficult, accelerated business management masters program, but I was no closer to a life direction than at my first graduation.  I shunned the college's career placement program convinced that I could do it all on my own.  The economy (and job market) were on a decline... then 9-11 happened.

Flash forward 10 years (I know I'm old, OK?) and I've worked retail and several dead-end, white collar jobs for majorly insane a-holes (I mean Kevin Spacey in Horrible Bosses a-holes) with skills out the yin yang but a horrible resume and a career-killing toddler.  I tried a business and I failed miserably.  I tried marriage and failed miserably.  I live off my parents for rent and have been accused of being no better than a welfare mother (by a therapist that falls in that majorly insane a-hole category).  I have failed at every single thing in my life - hopefully other than motherhood; I can't fail at that.

It's when I realized that failure isn't the end of the world that I turned myself around.  FAILURE HAS NO BEARING ON WHO I AM OR IF I AM A GOOD PERSON.  Period.  I have nowhere to go but up, and that's why I will be a success this time because I have already failed miserably and didn't die.  A friend recently told me that you can't see God's hands reaching out toward us with the offer of help until we are flat on our backs and looking up.  However you look at it, failure is just another way to grow.

I changed to always trying to find the positive in everything.  I look back at how much time I wasted waiting for someone else to ensure my happiness and smack my forehead because happiness is a state of mind, not something another person can give you.  It isn't easy, but I choose to be happy.  Don't get me wrong, I have my moments and even my days when I trip.  I have a pity party of one (sometimes more if I can convince anyone else to join me) then I pick myself up by the scruff of my neck and force myself back on path.  I'm truly happier than I have ever been, and this is the hardest my life has ever been.

I have way more than people in my position could ever hope to have.  Instead of looking at the fact that I don't have a job or a chance at a job or a home or a husband or many friends (depressing, isn't it?), I choose to look at the fact that I have the most amazing son in the world.  I have a large family that loves me, no matter what, failure and all.  I have a roof over my head that - for now - I don't have to share with anyone but my son.  I have talent, a lot of it, and I have the smarts - and now the drive - to turn that talent into a way to stand on my own two feet financially.

Happiness is a state of mind.  Rather than looking back and lamenting over things that can't be changed, remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed.  You can never get this moment back, so make it one that you will never regret.  Tomorrow is yours to change, not yesterday!

Reality Television as Inspiration

Why is it that inspiration strikes when I'm driving or bathing my son or in the middle of pretty much anything that is not near a computer?  I come up with the most amazing thoughts and compose a phenomenal first paragraph then forget it as soon as my fingers hit the keyboard.  Blank.  Complete writer's block.  Zip, zilch, nada.  I got nothing!

Even now, I've wrote that first paragraph hoping that I would have something that blows your mind and make you want to come back to me despite me leaving you high and dry for... well, pretty much ever.  I hate that it has been more than a month and a half since I wrote to you.  This is supposed to be an expression of me, and I look empty and vacant.

I'm not empty and vacant, dammit.  That's write.  I wrote dammit and I even spelled it wrong.  So there!

I've been watching a little bit of reality television while I'm writing, and I will say that these people make me feel very normal.  Train wrecks.  All of them.  Absolutely tragic but you can't look away.  The worst of them?  The commercials for the Toddlers and Tiaras show on TLC.  Those commercials make me sick.  I could never watch the entire show because my skin crawls and my lip curls and I judge those parents... immediately.  Parenting is hard, so I try not to judge others because I would hate for others to judge me.

But I can't help it.  I really can't.  Well, I didn't try, but I don't think I could help it if I tried.  These people are turning their children into very bad imitations of Barbie dolls.  Our children are supposed to be the best parts of us, and we are supposed to help shape them into the best versions of themselves.  These people are basically making photo copies of photo copies and creating the worst kind of hot messes.  Spoiled rotten littel brats that value looks and winning over morals and values... and the kids are horrible, too.

At least they make Buddy the Cake Boss look a little less jerk-ish.  Hey, there's a silver lining on each cloud.