Silver lining? Try a silver cloud!

What's the best cure for a serious blow to the self esteem?  Doing something that (1) takes your mind off things and (2) gives you a little boost in the "can do" department.  What's my poison that fits both those criteria?  Generally, home improvement.  Specifically, laying baseboards.

These baseboards are incredibly beautiful and have been waiting six months to make my home a better place, and this was the weekend to end that wait!  Well, last weekend was the technical start of the project, but this weekend was the time to make it all happen.  Between wrangling the Toddler Terrorist and trying to make it big as an artist, not to mention my dad's hectic schedule, finding time has been difficult to say the least.

I love to work with wood.  I mean LOVE to cut and sand and nail and screw and... well, work with wood.  Actually, I love anything that involves creating something tangible from a hint of an idea lodged deep in the back of my brain.  Add that it is for home improvement, and you could say that I had a cheese grin on my face the whole day.

It was a slightly rocky start to the process because I had never actually done anything as technical as this project, but I have a pretty steep learning curve.  You have to understand my dad has been the boss for more than (ahem) thirty years, so it was difficult for him to give up the reigns and allow me to be the lead.  He did awesome, and it made me feel like gold when he said the same about me.

Color me six shades of awesome!  Each corner fit better, and each cut got easier to make.  I'm pretty proud of myself, and it shows.  Thanks Daddy for helping me find yet another silver lining!

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words pierced my heart.  Today someone I trust very much and who's opinion I value greatly said some not very nice things about me to my face.  The words may have rung with a modicum of truth, so you obviously felt that I needed to hear them right then.  There's a part of me that would like to call it "tough love" and brush it off as a growing and learning experience, but that part seems to be the part filleted to the bone by the sharp words.  Mostly I call it a betrayal.

Most words may be just words, but many words can be used as weapons depending on the wielder.  I'm an emotional soul.  Borderline empathic, my validators come from external sources and I - more often than not - consider someone else's hurt feelings over my own.  Letting someone inside means giving them the power to hurt me with very little effort.  That's what happened today.  I let someone in and was carved into tiny little pieces then pushed out the door with a half-hearted fare-the-well.

I'm way too ashamed to repeat what was said or even give you a hyper-quick overview, but know that the words have echoed in my head for just over 10 hours now.  You would think that at - ahem - 25 years in this world (more like 34 and counting...), I would have grown some self esteem and not cared what anyone says or thinks about me.  I haven't.

What's my point to all of this cloak and dagger reference to a potentially juicy story?  Watch your words.  You may think nothing of the daggers you are throwing, but the recipient will feel every little knife point and resent you for it.

Thank you, Miss Kim!

My deepest thanks to my favorite toddler wrangler for giving me some excellent tips this week.  She may have retired for the next few baby-making years, but Miss Kim is my go-to gal for advice on my terrorist... I mean toddler.

He just had his second birthday and got a multitude of toy sets with a million pieces each.  When sitting in the middle of his hurricane wondering how on Earth I was going to organize it all on a zero-dollar budget, Miss Kim suggested that I use my clear shoe containers (I have a million of them) to group and organize each set in an easy-to-stack, easy-to-view way.  Brilliant!  Now, it is much easier for him to choose what he would like to play with and for him to know where to put things away when I'm choosing my battles to win the war.

Today, I told Miss Kim about his temper tantrums.  I'm sure every other mother of a young two year old thinks the same as I do, but - man - his fits are horrible!  He even sniffs of the possibility that he isn't going to get his way and the screaming starts.  I don't know what exactly has possessed my happy little baby over the past couple of weeks, but this little demon can't be stopped once he gets going.

Miss Kim explained about the ABCs of temper taming.  A is the antecedent or what sets him off (aka not getting his way).  B is the behavior or his reaction (aka the screaming and kicking fit).  C is the consequence or how I will react.  That's the kicker.  The million dollar question.  What do I do??

First, I need to reign in my own temper.  Hey, he gets his somewhere, and it is not all from his father.  After taking a deep breath and taking stock of my ABCs, I have decided to set aside a "Time Out" station for him to sit at until he is finished crying.  I explain to him calmly that he isn't to move until he is finished crying, then I ignore him.

If he decides he wants to move before he is finished crying, I stand above him and force him to stay until he is finished.  Talk about a battle of wills!  Sometimes it becomes a true standoff, but I try to win the majority of the time.  Eventually, I'm hoping that he gets the whole concept of time out and tries to avoid it as much as possible.

Miss Kim also suggested an egg timer to give him a concrete end goal.  "When the timer dings, you may get up."  Anything to help him realize that his behavior isn't going to get him the reaction he wants.  Maybe the egg timer is really for me...

Once again, BRILLIANT, Miss Kim!  Thank you.