The First Step is Breathing!

I often find myself holding my breath when I'm thinking of stressful things.  It isn't something I do on purpose; instead, it is more as if my body is concentrating so hard that it doesn't remember to push air in and out.  More often than not, it results in a wicked tension headache.  Of course, the gallon of coffee I ingest each morning doesn't help the situation.

I've been working on cutting down my coffee addiction, but it is just SO good that I'm finding it hard.  I'm one of those that likes a bit of coffee with my milk and sugar, so the end result is soft and sweet and oh so tasty!  Not at all bitter and hard like black coffee.  Yuk!

Back to the breath holding issue.  Not thinking of stressful things won't work for me right at the moment, so instead I'll find ways to remember to breathe.  Pending divorce, single motherhood, financial ruin... all of these things tend to take over a brain and not let go.  Most of the time, I'd love nothing more than to succumb to the pressure and just lay down until I could breathe again, but - with a toddler to wrangle and a life to run - that isn't an option.  Instead, I've been concentrating on deep, cleansing breaths combined with meditative exercises geared toward relieving the pressure.

What is it they always say?  The first step is admitting you have a problem.  Well, I have a problem remembering to breathe, so first step taken!  Now I just have to find real ways to not let the stress rule my life.

Go, Good Cop, Go!

For the first time in what feels like forever, I am the fun parent. I brought the baby to Disney, all by myself, and we are having a blast. I even let him have a sugary drink with dinner! (GASP!)

Here is the back story in case you've missed it: I am the primary caregiver to my nearly 2-year-old son, so I'm the one setting boundaries, establishing a schedule and being the bad guy by saying "no". (I'm learning that's a foreign concept to some people.) I am the one teaching him to play independent because I have things that need to get done on a daily basis. My ex husband gets him a couple days a week - when he is able to and if he feels like it - so he is on constant vacation mode and endlessly doing fun things to make up for lost time during the week. I can't say that I blame him too much, except that it makes my job 1,000 times harder. It always takes a day and a half to two days to get the baby back on the program.

The relationship that my ex and I were trying to keep friendly is crumbling fast, so I'm less and less able to rely on his ability to curb the super fun zone into the normal fun zone. Enter my master plan!

I've decided that every once in a while, I'm going to let myself be the fun parent. Since I have been relegated to the Bad Cop role, I figure I can take the liberty of expanding my resume and sharpening my Good Cop skillset. That way, if I ever get into a healthy relationship and have more children, I will have had the practice. If not, then London won't resent me because I'm no fun at all. Great plan, huh?!?

Tomorrow is a full day at the Magic Kingdom, and - who knows? - I might even let him have some chocolate! Go, Good Cop, Go!

Exercise Extravaganza: Day 5

I fell off the wagon and landed in a Burger King drive through.  Sigh.